French fancies

Stop abusing English food with tiresome, old remarks
What makes you so proud of your o.t.t French tarts?
I love shepherd’s pie so you laugh and take the piss,
Claiming I have no taste and that it’s such a simple dish.
If you had to name two things that the English love to eat,
You’d say trifle and potatoes are on our plates every evening of the week.
Oh, so do you eat frog’s legs and snails all the time?
And do you always glug it down with gallons of red wine?
Or do you only ever eat the finest French fromage?
You laugh at the thought of crumble, whether apple or rhubarb,
And call custard, “crème anglaise” but have you ever tried,
A really proper crumble with ice cream on the side?
Or cereal without chocolate that your kids demand in shops?
Whilst stuffing chocolate filled Brioche in to the big flat sloppy chops.
I’d take Jamie Oliver over your pretentious Guy Savoy,
It might not be “Haute-Cuisine” but English food fills me with joy,
And if I hear one more lame remark about English brussel sprouts,
I’ll forcefeed you dodgy sausages made by our friends the Krauts.