After three weeks living at Andy’s, something had to give,
I had to stop being picky and find somewhere to live.
So now i’ve gone and done it, i’ve found myself a flat,
It’s not big enough to swing a mouse, nevermind a cat!
The flat’s ten metres squared and costs more than my place in Nice,
I’ll be living on my own but that’s no reason to be ‘triste’.
It may be very small but it’s got everything I need,
Having an open plan studio is very handy indeed.
In fact my flat’s so small I can make breakfast from my bed,
Turn the light off with my toes and reach the front door with my head.
I’ve seen a Lada with more mod cons, a phonebox with much more space
I can be in the kitchen cooking dinner while in the bathroom washing my face!
This studio’s unusual-here’s the proverbial pudding as the proof,
There’s a window in my bathroom that opens out onto a roof!
And even though this sounds quite shady and could even cause me harm,
It’s another little feature that gives this place some charm!
But does size really matter if it’s only for a while?
Could a box of an appartment wipe away my smile?
Well it’s big enough for me and it’l do for my mates trips,
None of them is naive enough to be expecting the Ritz.
It’s been comfortable at work, things at times are slow.
Yet i’m always given jobs as i’m just about to go.
My French must be improving, I speak it all the time,
I keep breaking into ‘Franglais’ a ‘melange’ that works just fine,
If i’m talking to an ‘etudiant’ or a ‘copain’ of mine.
‘Mais’ if i use it with strangers ‘ils pensent que je suis’ mad,
Which should be avoided snice it’s ‘vraiment, vraiment’ bad.
The nightlife here is rude and beats what i’ve left behind,
But drinks cost an absolute mint they really rob you blind!
Six euros for a coke ? There’s been some mistake surely!
After all i’m paying for a drink, i’m not paying for a brewery (copyright McDonalds 2004)
Everyone seems beautiful, yet no-one seems to smile
These over-inflated egos ought to try dancing for a while.
If you want to pose, I know somewhere that you could go,
Try booking a one way ticket to the Principality of Monaco.
Digitalism and Datarock proved to be good nights,
The French drink less than the British so i see far fewer fights.
But it’s not all work and dance, i’m a cultured boy at heart,
Which is why I never burp and never been known to fart!
I walked along the Seine on a sunny Saturday
I strolled right past the Louvre singing some Johnny Halliday.
Aimlessly wandering along or flaneuring in my lame ‘Franglais’
Soaking in the culture along my merry little way.
I’ve been thinking of you lot, i’m not completely self obsessed
Although writing about myself looks negative i confess.
For all my fellow students I hope the essays have gone well,
I hope exams felt effortless and not like hours of hell.
Those of you with 9-5s I can now empathise,
I also work 8 hour shifts although not as hard as you guys.
Best wishes, I love you all and I hope to see you soon,
And lads, sorry to miss the 21sts, it hurts me more than you...
