So I’ve started all over again, I’m sorting my life out in
It’s about as straight forward as building an airfix Toyota Yaris
Nice was a great 3 months, I made friends and enemies
Some I’m sad to leave behind some I’m glad to leave.
My former flatmate hates me, it seems I was pretty mean,
But in no way was it an attempt to keep her really keen.
It seems she’s found my blog and she has read most of it,
I got a tasty e-mail telling me I’m a piece of …..
In truth I’m quite upset; we shared some real good times,
She didn’t deserve to be ridiculed within these anecdotal lines.
But since she called me nasty stuff, I'm obliged to retaliate
And if the madam is reading this then she’s bound to get irate!
Oi, you! I’ll be Zidane to your Marco Matterazzi,
And if you’ll be Diana I’ll play the part of the paparazzi!
But times move on, I’m wiser now and I’m living in Paree,
I’ve got a full time job now in an art gallery.
First shift there the boss took us all out for a meal,
I ordered “tartare de beouf” and when it arrived I almost squealed.
Obviously I’m naïve, but I thought I’d get a choice
Of how I’d like them to cook my beef but I didn’t use my voice.
Now it was less cooked than a packet of co-op mince, and looked less healthy too
And although it tasted fine, there were moments where I forced myself to chew!
All that was bad enough but there were bigger fish to fry
My boss ate worse than those filthy animals from the sty.
He didn’t like to cut or finely chop his food,
He didn’t think talking with a mouthful was unpleasant or rude!
But this gallery job’s only half of it I still need an abode,
But the problem with the French is they all rent studios.
Symptomatic of Parisian life, everyone lives on their own,
Too grumpy to open up they’d all rather live alone.
Thing is, I love sharing houses, and I’m still looking to share,
Even if it’s another fruitloop, I really do not care!
Currently I’m staying with the wonderful Andrew Dorn,
His face is the first and last thing I see every night and every morn.
I’ve had a few dodgy encounters here, since Dorn lives near the Marais,
It’s famous for homosexuals and I was approached recently by a gay.
He asked me for a cigarette which is standard in
But then he became all sinister while I got all embarrassed.
He asked if I wanted a blowjob so I turned and fled the scene,
I’m not being homophobic I just didn’t want his penis near me!
Now I’ve been at work a week and it’s mostly quite relaxed,
I spend most my time working on my namesake, a handy apple Mac
My nerves do fray a little when it comes to moving paintings round,
I’m often handling pictures worth more than
But I’m immersed in the French language there, it’s a sea that surrounds me,
And I relish swimming in it, metaphorically!
Not much else has happened so not too much else to say,
When I’m not working I’m searching for a place to stay.
But I smile my head off all day long when I stop to think,
That these next six months in
